Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
