Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Dick very happy bro
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
