I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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