That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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