I don't think brook has ever known best
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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