If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
