I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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