So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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