i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
