so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
