I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
