she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
