I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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