Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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