the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
And then my night got REAL pukey
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
