Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
