Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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