Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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