i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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