i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
