I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
