So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
