I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
