He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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