Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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