I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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