Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
