Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
