Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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