Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Small penises have feelings too.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
