True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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