For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
