Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
