Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
