I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
and you fell through a lawn chair
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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