eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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