Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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