I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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