It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Come on in and take your pants off
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