I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
