I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
