I want to make a zoo with you.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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