I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
