I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
So apparently I’m into choking now
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
