I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
