The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
