Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
