my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Sober January is a disaster.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
