My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
