she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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